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animagic21
New member
Merry Christmas Lyn & Colin. Have a Happy, Healthy 2018 too! Best Wishes, Anne & Bob xx
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rebel
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- Feb 15, 2011
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One for Christmas
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree
Have a good one.
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree
Have a good one.
C
clinkham
Member
Best wishes for Christmas and New Year to to Lynne and Colin. 
Thanks for your time in keeping us in order and ensuring the Forum remains a great source of information and, at times, entertainment.
Happy Christmas and New Year to all members too.
Roll on June
Thanks for your time in keeping us in order and ensuring the Forum remains a great source of information and, at times, entertainment.Happy Christmas and New Year to all members too.
Roll on June
P
pollensafan
Active member
My best wishes to you and yours Madam " S" for a Healthy and happy new year.
I echo the same to the rest of the members and may I offer you all a thought for a new years resolution.
Stop leading me astray on here. Meek and mild as I am, I can be easily lead and I end up Taking the blame.
I echo the same to the rest of the members and may I offer you all a thought for a new years resolution.
Stop leading me astray on here. Meek and mild as I am, I can be easily lead and I end up Taking the blame.
its cd
Active member
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- Feb 11, 2008
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- 1,679
Merry Christmas to all
P
pollensafan
Active member
Having just seen Reble's xmas joke, I thought I would leave you with this.
A few years ago My late wife and I spent xmas in Russia.
In the local bar we noticed that most nights people would approach this chap and ask about the next days weather.
I asked the barman what that was all about and he said that the guys name was Hof and he used to make pornographic films, but had long since retired and was now an expert weather Forecaster.
My wife bless her said that as we were hoping for the following day to be nice for a trip out she would ask him what he thought.
When she returned she said that he forecast heavy rain and that she thought he was talking rubbish.
I however said we should take note because,,,, Wait for it ,,,.,, "Rude Hof the red knows rain dear ".
I'm just leaving.
A few years ago My late wife and I spent xmas in Russia.
In the local bar we noticed that most nights people would approach this chap and ask about the next days weather.
I asked the barman what that was all about and he said that the guys name was Hof and he used to make pornographic films, but had long since retired and was now an expert weather Forecaster.
My wife bless her said that as we were hoping for the following day to be nice for a trip out she would ask him what he thought.
When she returned she said that he forecast heavy rain and that she thought he was talking rubbish.
I however said we should take note because,,,, Wait for it ,,,.,, "Rude Hof the red knows rain dear ".
I'm just leaving.
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